Sunday, April 23, 2006

tracing my roots

i was in kabacan, north cotabato for the weekend, to attend the wake of a dead relative. it is so ironic that if a family member dies, it is most often than not, the wake is made into a reunion. well, that is part of our custom and tradition i think. i was with my mom and dad because i have this need to go because i wanted to see relatives that i havent seen for quite some time.
how time really flies, because i saw cousins who are younger than me. i can remember that i took care of them when they were still toddlers. my only misgiving is that a couple of them has been married and seperated from their spouses. sad also that even though that we have a decade separating us they look older than me. maybe because of the problems they have. but who doesnt have one? that is what life is. it is a matter of perspective on how you see the situation. still i was so happy to see them. i didnt know i missed them so much.
what really made the weekend memorable was when we were served an array of all the kakanins of my childhood days. we had patupat, tupig, buchi, baduya and every color of biko you can think of. i have an ilocano ancestry and im vey proud of it. i have inherited their frugality and being industrious. then i surprised the people who were there because i still can speak the dialect though rusty and when i sang a lullaby ive learned from my grandma they were but happy and amazed.
i remember a long time ago every year, we always go to kabacan and spend the whole
summer there with all the cousins from davao. i still can recall my grandma ringing the bell everytime a meal is ready. having a nap after lunch was a prerequisite and that was the time lola sings her lullaby. god i miss her. though i was very young i miss the way she smells when she gives me a hug. her ample bosom was so soft and she always gives me a peck on the cheek without any reason at all. i was a favorite because i will sing and dance without any prodding.
then all of a sudden, an auntie saw me and uttered you really look like your grandma. it gave me the chills because i never thought that i will get her looks. and i also learned that she had an asthma as well. talk about genetics.
the whole night my cousins and i promise to get in touch because we were given an assignment by the elders to make a family tree. trace our roots 6 generations up. i know it would be a feat for us but we never turn our backs on a challenge. this has to be done in time for our reunion on april 2007 were my moms family is the host.
i know we can do this and it would be a learning experience to trace one's roots.

Monday, April 17, 2006

lenten in camiguin

camiguin island - what a place, what an experience. i was there together with my family from maundy thursday to easter sunday. what made the visit worthwhile was i was able to climb an old volcano which they made into the 14 stations of the cross. so inspite of the asthma and vertigo, i slowly trod the way as jesus did in his way to golgotha. with all its twists and turns, i can feel my knees shaking and the shortness of my breath is apparent. well, maybe it is a sign that i have sinned the past year so i really tried very hard and did my best to go unto the top. it was an exhilarating experience. when i was in the 14th station, i sat down and prayed more. i prayed for peace, good health and happiness to all i can think of. i had my personal prayers for my family and i prayed for atonement of my sins.
then the adventure: first destination was the santo nino cold spring. it was a surprise because i was expecting a pool with cold water, but no it was a pool with cold flowing water. so the explanation maybe is as fast as the flow of the water then the counterpart of water springing from the ground was the same. i dont know about science but we had a nice dip. we went there thursday and went back after our climb of the via cruces.
saturday was a long day. we woke up 3am to be fetch by our service at 4am going to the white island. we arrived at the island by a motorized banca at 5am and gave instruction that we wanted to go back at 7am. we were the first to be there except of course for the stall owners. it was a very spectacular sight, the moon was still in the heavens and you can see the sun rising from the horizon. talk about nature triping. true indeed the sand was white and again we have a nice swim inspite of the cold water. well who are we to complain? amidst the sun, sand and sky we were like children playing in paradise.
third stop was the capital town of mambajao. we tour around, bought their famous pastel and had lunch near the parola.(lighthouse) then we proceeded to the katibawasan waterfalls. it was a sight to behold when i saw the falls. there was a rainbow forming in the middle of the drop. awesome. we hurriedly went into the pool and didnt dare go where the drop is, afraid that it would break our shoulder blades because of its strenght. the sprays and the mists was enough for us.
then the ardent hot spring. we were tired this time already but still we submerge ourselves to the pool that has 38 degrees in temperature. it was a change from the places weve been. the water was just right for our weary bones but we lasted for 15 minutes. we felt that we were soft boiled na. hahaha. then to the sunken cemetery memorial. you can see the limestone tombs underwater. they were the casualties of the first eruption of mt. volcan. then straight to the ruins of the old church. i have this eerie feeling when we were there. it felt like we were in a hallowed ground. some parts of the church is still standing against the test of time.
there were still places to go and sites to discover but alas, it was time for us to go home. what really is amazing is that there are group or bunch of people who has their panata to be in camiguin every lenten season. they walk around the island for 48 kilometers. you can see 14 big white crosses along the highway because it is their stations. they dont mind the harsh weather because day in and day out they keep on walking until they finish their own version of the via cruces.
so i made a decision that im going to have my panata too. it is going to be an annual sojourn for me to be in this island for lenten season. in the first place as the locals are saying, camiguin means "come again." yon na.

Monday, April 10, 2006

solitary confinement

for two straight days i was in a solitary confinement. although mine is an isolated case, i felt like it was two weeks not two days. you see, i have this kind of asthma that depends on the weather situation, it is in extremes, if its too hot or too cold. i had mine because it rained for about 10 minutes and all the heat from the ground came out. that is the worst scenario for me. i don't have problem with pollens, dusts and the like before, but after my operation it seems i have developed the abhorrence for this. i know i don't like the smell of new mown grass because it gives me the sniffles and nonstop sneezing.
i have my share of tablets, syrups, puffer and nebulizer but still the asthma persist. as my brother who is a doctor told me, you wont die of the disease per se but of its complication. migod, what more complication do i need? i stayed in the bedroom with the airconditoner on for round the clock for two days. i hope i won't get another attack when my electric bill comes. heaven forbid!
now i know how ninoy felt when he was in the same situation as i had. whereas, his is for love of the country, mine is a measly reason of loving myself. i had only two days and ninoys incarceration was years. so this is how you feel when you are in detention for not doing your assignment and being a bully in high school and being grounded when you disobey a house rule. good thing i was a good student and a dutiful daughter. the funny thing is i loose my appetite when i have my "alaga" as i call the disease. so i shed off an unwanted couple of pounds everytime i have it. difficult for me because when did losing pounds while you can hardly breathe can be an easy task? i can say that my asthma is my waterloo. i only hope and pray that this borrowed life will be loaned to me for quite some time yet. i still have a mission to accomplish and lot of things to do in my life.
i want to to go around the world, be in oprah show, serenaded by christian bautista, look after my future grandkids, taste girard's red beans in spaghetti sauce(ewww!),go
to the ultimate destination which is amampulo, i have to perfect my yoga poses, i havent seen all my vcd and dvd collections, i have to open a gourmet restaurant and as gp said, davao could not live without my peanuts. also i have to do the impossible dream - i have to regain my prepregnancy figure. i have to contribute to my favorite foundation, have to attend the pinning ceremony of my youngest, be a ninang to the wedding of one of my favorite person, have to spend a lifetime of happiness with my husband and kids. is that a tall order?
im now free! the dreaded asthma is gone and i will go back to my idyllic life. i have to say nine sets of novena for it to go away even this holy week only. how can i enjoy the beautiful island of camiguin while under attack? please pretty please, not this time okay? i am armed with all the sunblocks, my caps, sunglasses , my medicines. i think i deserve this after the solitary confinement. a blessed holy week to everyone!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

thoughts on friendship

april 4, 2006


i have this nagging thought for quite sometime now. since i came home from a short visit in manila i was thinking that wow!, i have new found friends na. then, how do you define friendship? is it just being attached to another by respect or affection? or maybe being more than the level of mere acquaintanceship? or being a support or having favor someone from another? if this is so, how can i be a friend to those i haven't seen yet?
i have categorized my friends. i have my childhood friends whom i call my berks. my barkadas, are my classmates from high school and college. i have my sisters from the community where i belong, then i have my gym friends who in short time that we've known each other, we became like a one close knit family. i also have cousins from both side of the family who are friends and relatives at the same time. i have girard and mickay who is a different category from the above mentioned. they are friends and members of my family. and lastly, my cf friends whom i discovered just barely a month ago.
migs, whom i talked and chatted with before i even have the chance to meet, is a blessing. many good things came my way when he became an acquaintance. then when we saw each other the first time, it was like a discovery. i have a son. it was unexplainable but i have another addition to my flourishing brood. then how can i explain gail and dessie whom i met only during the nccc davao mini concert of ian and are fast friends already? frances who i haven't met but communicate throught text messages? they are all cfs from davao. then i have jehanna who is sixteen and from cotabato city. we chatted and text from time to time. in visayas, i have vivian from cebu and from bacolod, dayds, lits and phillip. then from laguna, charmaine and lately lorns from bulacan. then how about cha who is migs gf? how would i call all of them?
if i am going to adhere to the meaning then they are text mates, chat mates and merely an acquaintance. but no, i wouldnt settle for that. in the first place, we all have a common denominator. we are all cfs. so we are friends and one big family. almost all of them call me nanay and what can i do? respond to the term of endearment and lo and behold. they are all my children. a member of my tribe. hahaha. attention: national statistics office
so let me define friendship. it is a meeting of the mind and of the heart. it is not having to see each other everyday. it is just being there for a friend. even you havent seen them but the lines of communication is always open, then that is friendship. it doesn't have boundaries and limitations. you are a true friend when you overlook the failure and tolerate the success of another friend. ian, you are so lucky to have cfs all over the country and overseas as well. your cbr admin is a terrific bunch and hardworking at that. i hope you appreciate them as much as we do.
as for my other set of friends(you know who you are) thank you because all through the years you've been there. we seldom talk but when we meet it seems that there are no gaps to bridge and holes to fill. i love you guys. you are the best. and to you girard i miss the company,man. the companionable silence. ang ating paninirang puri sa mga taong walang kamalaymalay. the movies, the conversation albeit senseless, the late night coffee, the singing, the eating session everytime i cook and of course your being. the miles that seperate us is not a hindrance. we have established a bond that is indestructible. as you've said that the great gift of friendship is knowing that both of us would always find our way back to each other. love you friend.
and you mr. hipolito, i am looking forward that i will be your wedding sponsor so it will be official. di ba ang ninang is second parent na? and i will hold on to my promise about the gift. i am very happy to have known you and loving you. welcome to my fold. you are latest addition and i hope not the last.
in closing i want to share something i've discovered from an english poet.

Oh, the comfort-
the inexpressible comfort of feeling
safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words-
but pouring them
All right out- just as they are-
Chaff and grain together-
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them-
Keep what is worth keeping-
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away

Friendship
-Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

Saturday, April 01, 2006

going gaga over keanna

april 2, 2006
2:11 pm

i watched the big night last night of the pbb celebrity edition and i think i had an overdosed of keanna. i didnt watch the show since rustom opted for a voluntary exit. i believed that he was the core of the group. since the start of the reality show, i told myself that keanna should win. not for the monetary consideration, but for her self esteem. as the show progressed i liked what i saw her being close to rustom and john.
i liked the episode where she was having a conversation with the english speaking rico and a twang to boot. they were talking about losing hope. and true enough, keanna gave rico a piece of her mind that you should only lose hope when you are in the intensive care unit with your heart monitor having a straight line na. isnt it amazing that a woman who is unschooled, had a colorful past and belonging to the lower strata of the society is smarter than a professional nurse at that?
being an outrageous and loud individual doesnt make her a lesser person. i liked the way she admitted that she felt left out because her housemates were an english speaking lot. so it was so hilarious when she asks what watch was they were meaning to use, the relo or yong nanonood, at least she knows that "watch" has a lot of definitions. she surprised me also that she has more english word composed during a challenge than zanjoe whom i guess finished college. so to say that judging a book by its cover is true. and who could forget her verbal argument with mich? that was a classic since instead of saying ksp ka (kulang sa pansin) to mich she told her kfc, (wow thats free advertising) and momentarily stop to think that she said the wrong word. still having her steam she managed to laugh. wasnt that lovely of her?
she has a lot to thank for in the person of rustom. telling her of his innermost secret is an honor and priviledge. teaching her to be strong and showing her affection is a gift. what more than making her to have a decent life and start all over again. as keanna had uttered last night when she was declared the winner - " i am reborn". i trust she will cling into what she has learned and experienced inside the big brother house. i hope it would make her life better. i can say that being the big winner is the realization of her dreams. go keanna and enjoy the glory. as a woman, i am proud of you. as a mother, i emphatize with you, and as a human being you have my outmost respect. just please dont forget that there is someone higher than us and is longer than infinity.