the living and the dead

hello, i am back. it has been quite a while since i posted. let us just say that i was not my usual self. for the past four days i was down with a fever plus a sore throat. add it up with coughs and colds. some will call it flu but i call it stress. my sister in law died of acute renal malfunction last sunday at dawn, and since then i have been the girl friday, the cook, the entertainer during the wake. my brother who is a surgeon, got a lot of friends, and the funeral parlor was always filled up to the rafters. then i didn't know that we have a lot of relatives from both sides of the family that really went out of their way to give their condolences. i discovered that my brother helped a lot of people in his medical profession because they came along in hordes just to support him and his son on this moment of loss. it is really surprising since they haven't met the deceased but they still commiserate with the living.
so now i believe that friends, relatives, acquaintances and the likes, go to wake to support those who were left behind by the dead and pray for the repose of the soul of those who left this world. also, i realized that i am not my same usual energetic and strong individual. after the interment, i really felt awful already and the fact that it was raining helped to my predicament. so know i know what to do when my time comes to leave. i have to put it on my last will and testament that i want to be cremated so that those i will left behind will not experience what i did.