thoughts on friendship

april 4, 2006


i have this nagging thought for quite sometime now. since i came home from a short visit in manila i was thinking that wow!, i have new found friends na. then, how do you define friendship? is it just being attached to another by respect or affection? or maybe being more than the level of mere acquaintanceship? or being a support or having favor someone from another? if this is so, how can i be a friend to those i haven't seen yet?
i have categorized my friends. i have my childhood friends whom i call my berks. my barkadas, are my classmates from high school and college. i have my sisters from the community where i belong, then i have my gym friends who in short time that we've known each other, we became like a one close knit family. i also have cousins from both side of the family who are friends and relatives at the same time. i have girard and mickay who is a different category from the above mentioned. they are friends and members of my family. and lastly, my cf friends whom i discovered just barely a month ago.
migs, whom i talked and chatted with before i even have the chance to meet, is a blessing. many good things came my way when he became an acquaintance. then when we saw each other the first time, it was like a discovery. i have a son. it was unexplainable but i have another addition to my flourishing brood. then how can i explain gail and dessie whom i met only during the nccc davao mini concert of ian and are fast friends already? frances who i haven't met but communicate throught text messages? they are all cfs from davao. then i have jehanna who is sixteen and from cotabato city. we chatted and text from time to time. in visayas, i have vivian from cebu and from bacolod, dayds, lits and phillip. then from laguna, charmaine and lately lorns from bulacan. then how about cha who is migs gf? how would i call all of them?
if i am going to adhere to the meaning then they are text mates, chat mates and merely an acquaintance. but no, i wouldnt settle for that. in the first place, we all have a common denominator. we are all cfs. so we are friends and one big family. almost all of them call me nanay and what can i do? respond to the term of endearment and lo and behold. they are all my children. a member of my tribe. hahaha. attention: national statistics office
so let me define friendship. it is a meeting of the mind and of the heart. it is not having to see each other everyday. it is just being there for a friend. even you havent seen them but the lines of communication is always open, then that is friendship. it doesn't have boundaries and limitations. you are a true friend when you overlook the failure and tolerate the success of another friend. ian, you are so lucky to have cfs all over the country and overseas as well. your cbr admin is a terrific bunch and hardworking at that. i hope you appreciate them as much as we do.
as for my other set of friends(you know who you are) thank you because all through the years you've been there. we seldom talk but when we meet it seems that there are no gaps to bridge and holes to fill. i love you guys. you are the best. and to you girard i miss the company,man. the companionable silence. ang ating paninirang puri sa mga taong walang kamalaymalay. the movies, the conversation albeit senseless, the late night coffee, the singing, the eating session everytime i cook and of course your being. the miles that seperate us is not a hindrance. we have established a bond that is indestructible. as you've said that the great gift of friendship is knowing that both of us would always find our way back to each other. love you friend.
and you mr. hipolito, i am looking forward that i will be your wedding sponsor so it will be official. di ba ang ninang is second parent na? and i will hold on to my promise about the gift. i am very happy to have known you and loving you. welcome to my fold. you are latest addition and i hope not the last.
in closing i want to share something i've discovered from an english poet.

Oh, the comfort-
the inexpressible comfort of feeling
safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words-
but pouring them
All right out- just as they are-
Chaff and grain together-
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them-
Keep what is worth keeping-
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away

Friendship
-Dinah Maria Mulock Craik