a new day

"is it so small a thing
to have enjoy'd the sun,
to have lived light in the spring,
to have loved, to have thought, to have done
to have advanced true friends, and beat
down baffling foes".....?


at last! after more than a week of downpour, the sun graces us with her presence today. it seems like a new day to me. one of my electric fan is broken. one of the air conditioner conked out but i am fine with it. its part of starting a new day.

after a couple of month's hibernation, i went out last weekend and enjoyed the city. watched a couple of movies with friends and had a great time catching up. eating was not in the agenda, just coffee and tea to sustain our thirst and all. hey after being careful with what i ingest, i am happy to say that i can do it. not having sweets and stuffing myself with all those fatty and unhealthy food. it didn't went like a breeze but i am proud of myself and my self control. all i have to face now, is exercise and shed off some of all the unwanted pounds. not that i have illusions to be back with my post pregnancy figure, but just getting rid of the pesky love handles. besides, the hubby likes me fine being pleasantly plump. urrrgggg!!!!!

i hope i could put up with the promise of blogging from now on. i will try my best. it is so liberating to share some insights and my thoughts with this. or as i told a friend, maybe i will put my thoughts in a journal entry type. let us see if i will have the gumption to do it. anyway, have a great week folks.

a recluse no more

that's it. i am tired of being a recluse. i think it is high time for me to go out from my hiding place. my friends are all upset that i don't attend parties with them or watch a movie anymore. i told them that i was just bidding my time. i wanted to take it slowly while recuperating from my recent illness. i wasn't idle though these past few months. i rearranged the furnitures, updated my photo albums and covered almost all my most treasured possessions - books.

i am feeling fine now and super excited to do my christmas shopping. one thing i hate is doing it on the eleventh hour. i have to avoid the crowd and the rush. also, i have to expose myself again so that people will remember me to include in their christmas list. hahahaha

davao city has been wet for the past week. it's been raining everyday. but it won't stop me from going out again and enjoy the company of my friends and family. there are new places to explore and sights to be seen. will keep you updated guys. ciao!

signing in

just want to sign in even for a few lines. just got out of the hospital for treatment of hypertension. i was rushed to the emergency by my youngest Sunday morning for severe headache and suspected high blood pressure. true enough when the attending nurse took my blood pressure it was 190/110 which is way beyond my normal bp of 120/80. i was given medicine immediately done sublingually. there were medical contraptions attached to my body and oh those hideous needles again. i was admitted to so they can further monitor my well being and be nagged to death by my kids, relatives and friends to be careful with what i eat and take everything in moderation. as if........

it is great to be well again - or be alive for that matter. there are moments in life that you experience bumps along the road and this is one of them. so what to do? live your life to the fullest and don't take things for granted. so goodbye to cooking and preparing those well loved recipes. have to do with a simple fare of low sodium, low sugar non fatty meal. i have to rest and take things lightly for a while. so ciao for now and thanks to all your prayers.

if i can stop one heart

"if i can stop one heart from breaking,
i shall not live in vain;
if i can ease one life the aching.
or cool one pain,
or help one fainting robin unto
his nest again,
i shall not live in vain".
emily dickinson

my husband called at 1:45 am philippine time yesterday. it gave me a fright because he usually calls during the morning. his voice was weepy and sad and told me that loneliness has taken its toll. he was in a vulnerable state and all i can do is soothe and ask him to come home so the family will be whole once again. we talked for a while until i know that he is pacified and consoled. when common sense prevailed, he said the he just wanted to hear my voice. that broke the dam- i really cried buckets because i really felt the same. i admire, respect and love him for what he is - a very committed individual.

is it a sin for a family member to go overseas and look for a greener pasture? it is just so ironic, that our government can't give what is due to its citizens. i wonder what all these politicians are doing when the senate and congress is in session. one reason that i don't watch news on tv and read the broad sheets at that. all they feed you are lies, accidents, calamities and killings and crimes here and there. good thing there is an entertainment section. that's the one that gets you going.

i just read your blog gie. if i could send you one tupperware of kilayin, i would do so. i empathize with you. loneliness and homesickness is your number one enemy when you are abroad. just think of the lovely things and the good memories you have when you were here. it would be a respite though temporary.

thank god for technology. you can reach your loved ones through text messages, email and of course long distance calls. i still prefer to write though when the mood strikes me. it is a little old fashion but the feeling you get when you receive one is priceless. especially when the sender is eloquent and true to his words.

its still early. i do have a lot of unanswered mails. so i have to get it done. email my friends who matter and write a long letter to the one i love. then maybe i could stop one heart from breaking.

davao's bounty

davao city is a sight to behold these days. you go around the place and you will see fruits in every nook and cranny. lots of vendors either peddling their harvests or middlemen selling their items to everyone who has the craving for their favorite fruit. since there are a lot of choices to make, you can buy your money's worth of 200 pesos(about 4US dollars) for a kilo of lanzones, rambutan, mangosteen, a piece of marang, durian and our famous davao pomelo.

i see to it that i replenish my fruit tray everyday of these bounties. you have to make use of the season and splurge because aside from being a healthy alternative of preparing fruit as a meal, it is easier than cooking. so people, come to davao and enjoy what we have to offer. bon appetit!

sydney on my mind

it is so freaking hot. expected because of the season, (summer that is) this year is the worst. i usually wake up with an excruciating headache and most often than not, have asthma in the sidelines. this is the time of the year that i wish i am in sydney, australia. its autumn there now. the temperature is just a little colder than baguio and you can smell the leaves. the air is so clean and the environment is friendly and amiable. it is the only place i've been that almost the people you meet on the streets greet you good day or bid you to have a nice day. this goes on public transport as well. aboard a bus, the driver always try to have a conversation and the passengers are never grumpy. they have a look of eagerness- whether going to the office or going home. such a wonderful crowd sydney has.

i miss going to resto bars, alone or with company. you really feel safe. once inside an establishment, you know that you are in good hands. services are impeccable and the staff solicitous. there is a place where we want to have coffee 24/7. the shop is near a fountain. i've learned to appreciate drinking good coffee here same as i love to have morning and afternoon tea. tea drinking which is taken seriously was taught by good friends. how it is taken, the proper way to do it and the best pastry or baked product that goes with it. how i miss it. but i have to contend with reliving it on my mind so with the places we frequently visit. miss going to moore park where the bars are always full. so with hearing mass at st canice or at the st mary's cathedral. spending day off at darling harbor or the royal botanical gardens. relaxing at the steps of the opera house, watching the world go by. ogling half naked people at bondi beach and watsons bay. eating fish and chips in the park, having lunch at a street cafe in oxford st., betting with my hubby who is gay or not. participating and having a blast during an annual gay and lesbian mardi gras, spending a weekend at blue mountains and in a spur of moment decision to hop in a bus or train and go to brisbane or canberra. sydney is ranked as one of the most expensive cities, but staying for almost five years, i found it cheap and everything is within your reach. food is abundant, amenities are okay, and whatever status you have in life, you are entitled to everything just like the homegrown aussies do.

i know i will be in sydney again or australia for that matter. though i've been to surfer's paradise ,im looking forward of going to the great barrier reef and have my pictures taken at uluru. i like to visit all the churches of south australia and go to dampier,western australia. the hubby has been there a couple of times and thought that it is a nice place to retire. my greatest wish though is to be with the whole family so we will all enjoy what sydney has to offer.

yes russel, i am still alive

this is an answer to the query of one of my favorite niece, russel. she wants me to update my blogsite. it has been months since my last entry. i am still alive and kicking but i am not inspired. my life has lost its lustre and for the first time, i have to admit i am lonely. duh? i miss my hubby very much and burning the wires doesn't compensate the feeling of being alone. i worry about him since the day i've heard about him not feeling 100% okay. we have to rearrange our long term plans and i am still waiting for some news and results to give my schedule another spin.

thanks shell, for sharing some of your innermost thoughts about the aborted lovelife. i will not say(this time) i told you so - i would not even give you a litany. as i've said, i just hope that the culprit(his name is not worth mentioning) and me will not have the chance to cross one's path. or else......i might turn into a bear again protecting her cub.

the poem below is dedicated to my first born. ken, happy happy birthday. you are quarter of a century old already. my good wishes and prayers for you to have all your heart's desire. i fell in love with the poem when i saw the movie in her shoes. it was read by cameron diaz's character to her sister's wedding. though i am still waiting for you to introduce me to your new girl, i promise myself not to dread the day and just be happy for you. God speed anak and enjoy your day. labshu!

i carry your heart with me (e.e. cummings)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)